Like, she's actually gone. Like, I'm really never going to see her again. Like, "Hey, remember when they put your mom's body in the ground and threw dirt on it? That's the last image of her you're ever going to see for the rest of your life."
She's not at home waiting to for you to take a break from college to come visit her. She's not eager to hear about how you did on your midterm. She's not even going to answer the phone when you're attempting to make Persian rice to give you verbal instructions as best as she can and say "Why didn't you watch me all these years?"
Like, she's really gone.
My throat swells. My heart pounds. My mouth gets so dry. All of a sudden, I feel so small and the room feels so big and empty.
I can't even cry. I'm just in shock.
This can't be real life.
