I hate my car

I hate my car. I hate it for many reasons that I won't waste your time with. But I just want to say that I would have never chosen this car for myself. I feel incredibly uncomfortable driving it.


Let me explain how I ended up with a car I hate.


When I moved back home after my mom's cancer diagnosis, my mom was obviously not well enough to drive. And since I did not have a car of my own, I started using hers to drive to school and work and such. A few months later, her doctor told her she was well enough to drive. So my mom came to me, demanding to have her car back. I told her that first of all, I know I'm no a doctor, but I really didn't think you should be driving. And secondly, what did she expect me to do? How did she expect me to get to work and school without a car? Her response was that I should take the bus, which, let me explain, would take about an hour and a half for me just to get to work. I refused. I knew she was tired of being dependent on other people to drive her around. But I believe that I needed the car more than her.


For about a month I had to deal with both my parents nagging me for the car back. (But I think my dad was only nagging me about it because he was tired of hearing my mom complain about it). But I kept refusing.


So after about a month of my mom nagging my dad about her wanting her "precious" car back (she absolutely ADORES this car), he decided that it would be best for everybody that I get my own car and my mom could have her car back.


I was thrilled! I would finally be getting a car that I actually felt comfortable driving and my mom would finally stop complaining! Though I still didn't think she should even be driving.


So my dad said he would go to the Honda dealership and buy me a basic used Honda Civic. I asked if I should go with him, but he said it wasn't necessary and that I could just pick it up later. That was fine by me and I thought everything would go alright.


But I was terribly wrong. I thought everything had gone fine until I received this text from my mom about 5 hours later:

"Hi Misha, I changed my mind. We're at the Honda dealer about to lease a new Honda for me. I hope you don't mind. I would rather let you keep the Volvo & let me drive this one."

I was so angry. You have no idea. I'm still angry. 


This is when I started realizing that my dad will give my mom whatever the hell she wants because she has cancer. I understand she has cancer and we should try to make her happy. But giving her EVERY LITTLE thing she wants, no matter how much it costs, or if she'll even remember she wanted it the next day, or what you had promised your daughter, does not seem right to me.

What I thought was going to happen that day, and what actually happened, were entirely opposite. My dad was supposed to buy me a cheap used Honda. And instead he leased a brand new Honda for my mom instead.

Not only did I not get a new car, but my dad leased the car. For 3 years. Seriously? Okay so now no one else is legally allowed to drive the car and we can't sell it. Which wouldn't be a terribly huge issue if my mom didn't have stage IV Brain Cancer.Would she even be alive to use it for the whole 3 years?

So what happened, you ask? Well her new found independence she had been longing for lasted about 2 weeks until her doctor suggested that she shouldn't be driving anymore. This of course pissed my mom off, so my dad still let her drive occasionally. Until she had a first seizure a few months later. She then finally decided on her own that she probably shouldn't be driving anymore. Thank goodness. I had been terrified every time I heard she was behind the wheel.

So now, this brand new Honda has been sitting in our garage or the past 6 months. It's barely been used. And we're still making monthly payments on it. It's it's not like we have the money. But that's a whole other issue.

But you know what bothered me most about the whole situation? Every single time my mom sees my car, she begins whining "Why do you get the cute car and I get the ungly one? I want my cute car back! It's so cute! And you don't appreciate it!"

I didn't want you fucking car! Gah. So much frustration.

And every time she says that, I just smile. That's all I can do.

My childhood friend (the daughter of the woman who's living at my parent's house now) visited  2 weeks ago. And while she was here, my dad told her she could drive the Honda. One day while she was here, she, my mom, my aunt, and I all went out to lunch and my friend drove the Honda. My friend was saying how much she loved the car and how she wish she could have one. And what does my mom say? She says "Well you should ask your mom for one!" Really? What do you think I did? And I didn't even want a new one!

I'm sorry for the ranting and the frustration. I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.