Sunday, April 8, 2012

Maybe We Can Learn From Benjamin Button

Now I've never seen or read The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but what my mom's going through reminds me of that story. From what I've heard, Benjamin Button grows younger instead of older. He begins as an old man and dies as an infant. I believe he mentally becomes younger throughout his life too.

This is exactly like my mom, but sped up. In the past 16 months, my mom has lost about  40 years of mental capacity. Her tumor(s) are located in her frontal lobe, the part of the brain that doesn't finish developing until you're about 24. So with her frontal lobe deteriorating, she is essentially becoming a child mentally.

But unlike Benjamin Button who degressed at the same speed a normal person progresses, my mom has lost 40 years in 16 months. It's heart-breaking to watch.

At first, after the first surgery, everything seemed totally fine. But then her memory starting slipping. Then her ability to plan things. Then her decion-making. Then she lost her filter. she says whatever's on her mind, if she has the enerygy to speak at all. She's certainly swearing a lot more. Very different from the mom I grew up with. Though she still freaks out if I even say "shit". So something still don't change. Haha.

It's a very odd sight. I've found myself treating her as if she were a 4 year told. I say things like "Oh no honey. We can't eat that. It fell on the ground." or "Do you want to go potty? Let me help you." But the part that's weirdest to me is her face. I say things like that and she just looks at me with her big eyes filled with curiosity, biting her lower lip like a baby (see earlier post). She has the facial expression of a 4 year old. It's miraculous how frontal lobe development affects facial expression.

I'm not sure how my mom is going to eventually die, but maybe thinking about it in terms of Benjamin Button might help. Maybe she's just growing younger. And when she gets as young as a newborn, it'll just be her time to go.

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