Summertime!

It's (almost) officially summer time and all of my high school friends are home from college. It's really nice to have them back in the Bay Area. It's nice to friends close by.

It's been two years since I've started college, but I have yet to make any close friends. When you're mom's dying, it's hard to make friends. Making friends is hard work! I can't be lively and personable all the time like I used to be. And I probably seem like my mind is elsewhere most of the time, because it is.

I wish my high school friends were always around. Going away to college is such a big milestone, and everyone seems to be enjoying it except for me. Everyone's having a blast and making tons of friends. And I'm just so grateful for when they come home.

The only problem is that I'm living in Oakland and they're all in Marin County, about a 45 minute drive away. And every time I go to Marin to hang out with my friends, my dad assumes I'm coming to take care of my mom so that he can have a break. I understand that he needs a break, I just want so bad to have some carefree time with my friends.

I just want to have fun again. It's so incredibly hard for me to let loose and have fun anymore. And being in Marin with my high school friends brings me back to high school times, back when cancer was affecting my life.

But my dad won't let me do that.


(Please don't get the idea that I don't want to visit my mom. I visit her about 3 times a week!)